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A Plea for a Twist Ending

March 2, 2010

So I just caught the end of Fast and Furious (I know, I wandered in to the end of Fast and Furious—you don’t have to tell me), and I have to say that I was almost, and I do stress almost, surprised by the finale.  Since it’s a terrible (and at the same time incredible) movie, I have no qualms relating what happens to you.  You see, Vin Diesel has to commit some crime, even though it’s “suicide”, as his hot love interest says, because he’s “got no choice”—a real shocking plot twist for the genre, I know.  The real bolt from the blue is that he actually gets caught this time and catches a 25-to-life sentence sans parole after some lame sermonizing from a judge about how “one right does not correct a lifetime of wrongs” (apparently he had done something heroically benevolent earlier in the film, as the hero criminals of today’s action thrillers are wont to do).

Wow.  Not that that particular conclusion would have made this a good film, but at least it would have been an interesting and unexpected occurrence in a series of comically predictable movies.  But then they have to go and ruin the whole thing!  At the end, as Diesel is riding the prisoner’s bus on the way to the maximum security prison, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster and the rest of the gang ride up in their ghetto-punk black Honda Civics and surround the bus, which is conveniently absent armed personnel, with the intent of rescuing him.  Naturally, the movie ends right there, leaving fans (if there really are any) doing that big “Awwwwww!” that moviegoers do when there’s an unresolved issue at the end of a film.

And so the movie ironically disappoints for the umpteenth time.  Believe me, I love gawking at the faux bad-assery of these movies as much as anyone, but wouldn’t it have been fun, just one time, for something different to happen at the end?  For example, what if Diesel just went to prison and that was the end of it?  That wouldn’t knock the wind out of you?  Or, even better, what if the rescue scene went horribly awry and all of the vehicles involved had a tremendous collision, killing dozens of would-be heroes and maiming innocent prisoners (oxymoron alert)?  Or what if the rescue mission just failed and everybody got arrested?

I’m begging you, Hollywood.  Humor me, just this once.

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